Just Surviving

I don't know about you, but when I'm at work, I start making this mental list. It usually goes something like this:

-Pick the kids up
-Make dinner
-Play something really fun with them
-Create something, maybe with play doh
-Watch a show
-Say prayers
-Put the kids to bed
-Fold laundry
-Clean the toilets
-Clean out my closet
-Read my bible
-Go to bed at a decent time

This evening started out harmless. I went and picked the kids up from my parent's house. While I was there my mom told me that Big R had some scrub tops and pants on sale for $5 (score!) I decided that a quick trip to Big R could be feasible and then I could complete my list. Let me just tell you, if you were in a 5 mile radius of Big R around 5:30-6:00, and you heard screaming, that would be my child. I don't know why he was screaming. All I knew was that he wasn't happy and he was letting everyone know about it.

We finally get home from the Big R fiasco. I walk in the door and I am greeted by Remi, our new puppy (yeah, let's not even talk about how she came about...let's just move on). Ryker says, "Why is Remi out of her cage?" I began to answer and then stepped on something soft, poop to be exact. As I'm trying to get the boys in the door, keep the dog from darting out, clean up poop and keep Madox out of the poop, the screaming begins again. I think, "Maybe he is hungry?." I quickly get the dogs out and get the kids some dinner. Come to find out, Remi chewed a nice little hole in her enclosure.

This new discovery then calls for a trip to Wal-Mart. We actually get in and out of Wal-Mart pretty quickly without much to report. We come home, I change Madox and put him to bed. He must just be tired. Nope...I think he screamed for 15 minutes. I decide to let Ryker stay up late tonight because he took a nap at the babysitter's today. As soon as I put him to bed (at 9:15, an hour and 15 minutes after his normal bedtime), his screaming begins.

Needless to say, not much was accomplished on my list tonight. Do you ever feel like you have days where you just survive? That was today for me. I'm lucky that I got through. Please believe me when I say that you aren't alone if you feel like you are failing. It was all I could do to choke back tears tonight as I sat on the couch. The screaming had finally stopped. It was 9:50 and I was going to bed in 10 minutes. Haha...that didn't quite happen.

I think these days come around to knock us down a few notches. Man, I know sometimes I catch myself thinking, "I'm pretty awesome. I get things done. I take care of my kids. I play with them." Then in the next moment, my child is screaming. Waking me from a dream! I know I'm a good mom, but I also know that I screw up. I'm so thankful that God works through us even when we screw up. My kids know that I'm not a bad mom, but I may have a bad day. That happens.

Sometimes, you just have to let the things that need to be done, sit. I have a basket full of laundry sitting on my couch. I knew in that moment that I needed some alone time, to write and to read, not fold a basket of laundry. That basket will be there in the morning. Make it wait. On days that you may be "just surviving", don't forget to take a break for yourself and don't forget to thank God for getting you through another day, as crazy as it may have been!