Do you ever feel like you are watching someone fall apart before your very eyes?
Do you ever feel like you notice major changes in someone but you can't put your finger on it?
I'm having a hard time these days. I've noticed changes in myself. I feel more committed to my husband and my family than ever before. I'm very happy and comfortable with them, but I'm not happy and comfortable with myself. These are things I'm certainly working on, but what if you notice changes for the negative in others? How do you address that? I'm lucky enough to have a few friends who may text me out of the blue and say "are you alright?". I just don't feel as if I'm bold enough to reach out. But what if what I said would save them from heartache and pain? What if what I said to them changed their life for the better? What if by my intervention, God could really work through me?
What am I so afraid of?
God is always on our side. Even when we mess up, He still loves us. Why can't I allow that love to flow through me to be bold enough to reach out to the ones I love in their time of need?
Just some thoughts I'm pondering.
Friday, December 4, 2015
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Purpose
I know I have a purpose. I know that I was born for such a time as this. I don't know how many times I have prayed "I know you have plans for me God.please use me." Recently I have gotten the feeling that God wants to use me in a big way, but recently I have been more discouraged than I have ever been.
When you are a mom, you are busy. There is no way around it. When you are a working mom, you are even more busy and LONELY. I see all these women who are leading small groups and attending bible studies. They are leading retreats and doing all these awesome things and I am sitting at home trying not to fall asleep doing my daily reading. Can I be honest here and say I don't remember the last time I didn't fall asleep during my prayer?! Sounds pretty ridiculous coming from someone who just said she felt like God wanted to use her in a big way.
I want to be transparent and tell you that this past week I have struggled. I don't know if it is the lack of sun combined with my history of depression or if it is just the devil. I can't find much joy. I find myself saying, "how did I miss that opportunity? I'm at the church all the time." "Do I look so frazzled that people don't think I would be interested?" Ugh, folks, I'm in a funk. I feel like I am alone. I know that I'm not. I know there are other moms out there. I know there are people that can relate to me, but it doesn't make me feel any less alone in those moments. I struggle feeling like everyone is moving around me and I'm just standing still. I feel like I am being left behind. Sounds crazy, I know.
The devil does a really good job of discouraging me when I'm already feeling alone. But I was reminded this morning that " He makes all things work together for my good." Isn't that a wonderful promise?! How can you not feel better after hearing those words? Although I may be discouraged and I fail Him daily, He still came to die for me and He would do it again. I know I don't deserve that. I am thankful for the promises that He gives me even in the midst of hard times.
When you are a mom, you are busy. There is no way around it. When you are a working mom, you are even more busy and LONELY. I see all these women who are leading small groups and attending bible studies. They are leading retreats and doing all these awesome things and I am sitting at home trying not to fall asleep doing my daily reading. Can I be honest here and say I don't remember the last time I didn't fall asleep during my prayer?! Sounds pretty ridiculous coming from someone who just said she felt like God wanted to use her in a big way.
I want to be transparent and tell you that this past week I have struggled. I don't know if it is the lack of sun combined with my history of depression or if it is just the devil. I can't find much joy. I find myself saying, "how did I miss that opportunity? I'm at the church all the time." "Do I look so frazzled that people don't think I would be interested?" Ugh, folks, I'm in a funk. I feel like I am alone. I know that I'm not. I know there are other moms out there. I know there are people that can relate to me, but it doesn't make me feel any less alone in those moments. I struggle feeling like everyone is moving around me and I'm just standing still. I feel like I am being left behind. Sounds crazy, I know.
The devil does a really good job of discouraging me when I'm already feeling alone. But I was reminded this morning that " He makes all things work together for my good." Isn't that a wonderful promise?! How can you not feel better after hearing those words? Although I may be discouraged and I fail Him daily, He still came to die for me and He would do it again. I know I don't deserve that. I am thankful for the promises that He gives me even in the midst of hard times.
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