Not Right Now

Not Right Now...

Have you heard this song?
If not, listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ullv_XN2d8M

Now, my house didn't burn down, but life has thrown Brock and me a curve ball. If you look up the meaning behind this song, Jason Gray talks about how it was inspired by the story of Job and his so called friends who came to encourage him. Have you ever been in the spot of Job's friends? Trying to encourage someone who feels like everything is falling apart? It's tough. You just want to say something. Anything. Typically, nothing we say will provide any comfort, but as their friend, we feel obligated to try.

I have not been on the other side of this very often. I've not been the one who need comforted. Can I just tell you, it sucks. People are trying their hardest to make you feel better and you want to, but you just can't. It's not all the time, you know. I don't always feel like I want to burst into tears. Just in the quiet moments, when it hits me again. Then I dial it back. There are so many worse things that could happen. Is it sad that I have to worry about grieving? I think about the things that could have been and the tears come again.

God has a plan and I know that. There is a reason that this happened and I know that. But if I may, allow me to quote the end of the song I shared:

"While I wait for the smoke to clear, you don't even have to speak.
Just sit with me in the ashes here and together we can pray for peace
to the one acquainted with our grief."

Please don't take this negatively. I appreciate the kind words, but once again, let me say,
"I know someday. I know somehow. I'll be ok, but not right now. No, not right now."

Love you all! <3